Have you noticed that the stories about Dany Heatley have become boring, repetitive and pointlessly speculative of late? Well that's because I wrote them all. That's right kids, I sold this template to numerous media outlets weeks ago, and they've been milking it ever since.
Are you an Ottawa sports writer in midst of the dead of summer? Nothing to report on other than golf? Then you might like to order the "Dany Heatley trade speculation template" too! Why write a story with the same old spin, when you could just fill in the blanks sell it to the Sun or Citizen for $100? Here's a free sample:
It's been ___ days since Dany Heatley requested a trade out of Ottawa, and GM Bryan Murray is still having trouble.
"It's been ________ (synonym for frustrating) trying to trade Dany, but my phone is still ________," (synonym for 'totally untouched since Edmonton called') Murray said today.
__________ (Western Conference team) is reportedly interested in the troubled winger, but salary cap issues have prevented the move.
_________ (Western conference team) would like to unload the __ -million dollar salary of underperforming winger _____________ (one of Dustin Penner, Patrick Marleau, or you fill in the blank), but in order for the deal to work under the cap, the Senators would also have to accept _________ (absolutely horrible player) as part of the package.
"We're looking at all our options," Murray said today.
The deadline that Murray has imposed on trading Heatley is only ___ days away, and Senators teammates are beginning to wonder what it will be like having the _________ (synonym for disgruntled) player back in the fold.
"It won't be a distraction," said _____________, (the only Senator player willing to answer this same stupid question again today). "He'll have to compete like anyone else."
__________________ (first 300 words of the first article you wrote about Dany Heatley wanting to be traded in May).
_________________ (first 100 words of Dany Heatley rejecting trade to Edmonton story).
Done! Send it to the printers!
Also available: "Ray Emery on cocaine? Maybe!" template - Now 20% off!
"Sens looking to make splash in trade market this year... for serious this time!" template "Remember when young people respected their elders? by Earl McRae" template
"O-train to be completed by June 20__" template