Sports sections on life support

I've written a lot of blogs about how there's nothing to blog about, and this week is certainly one of those times.

You know the story - the Ottawa Senators haven't played in five days and the dailies are just pulling at straws for stories even remotely connected to the hockey team. Metal bands, girlfriends' cd liner notes, long-forgotten grudges meant to anger up the blood... A sports section on life support. (What did these papers do before 1992-93? Look further than album notes for stories, I suppose.)

I haven't watched Sens play in a while either. On Saturday, I was watching the Gee-Gees football team blow their season when it matters most (again)... and on Thursday night I was scraping together a costume for an office Halloween party (the results were proportional to the amount of time I left putting together my 'Hawaiian tourist' costume... ouch). In any case, it was better than watching the Sens be single handedly beaten by a no-name goalie. (PS: I CALLED IT!)

The contentious issue right now is: Are the Senators even a good team?

We were pretty high on ourselves before last week's losses. The playoffs seemed like a lock. The Sens lose Anton Volchenkov and Jason Spezza, and suddenly the team seems to be scraping the bottom of the Eastern Conference.

I'm erring on the side of optimism for the Sens upcoming game against the Tampa Bay Lightning (seriously NHL? Again?). Spezza may be back in the lineup, so Alex Kovalev can dodge the pressure and go back to just dekeing around one defenceman and then losing the puck.

...too soon?

About now, I would say send your in-game thoughts to @sensarmyblog on Twitter... but the game's on TSN2, so tell me what you're doing instead!

Dany Heatley speculation article template

Have you noticed that the stories about Dany Heatley have become boring, repetitive and pointlessly speculative of late? Well that's because I wrote them all. That's right kids, I sold this template to numerous media outlets weeks ago, and they've been milking it ever since.

Are you an Ottawa sports writer in midst of the dead of summer? Nothing to report on other than golf? Then you might like to order the "Dany Heatley trade speculation template" too! Why write a story with the same old spin, when you could just fill in the blanks sell it to the Sun or Citizen for $100? Here's a free sample:


It's been ___ days since Dany Heatley requested a trade out of Ottawa, and GM Bryan Murray is still having trouble.

"It's been ________ (synonym for frustrating) trying to trade Dany, but my phone is still ________," (synonym for 'totally untouched since Edmonton called') Murray said today.

__________ (Western Conference team) is reportedly interested in the troubled winger, but salary cap issues have prevented the move.

_________ (Western conference team) would like to unload the __ -million dollar salary of underperforming winger _____________ (one of Dustin Penner, Patrick Marleau, or you fill in the blank), but in order for the deal to work under the cap, the Senators would also have to accept _________ (absolutely horrible player) as part of the package.

"We're looking at all our options," Murray said today.

The deadline that Murray has imposed on trading Heatley is only ___ days away, and Senators teammates are beginning to wonder what it will be like having the _________ (synonym for disgruntled) player back in the fold.

"It won't be a distraction," said _____________, (the only Senator player willing to answer this same stupid question again today). "He'll have to compete like anyone else."

__________________ (first 300 words of the first article you wrote about Dany Heatley wanting to be traded in May).

_________________ (first 100 words of Dany Heatley rejecting trade to Edmonton story).

Done! Send it to the printers!
Also available: "Ray Emery on cocaine? Maybe!" template - Now 20% off!
"Sens looking to make splash in trade market this year... for serious this time!" template "Remember when young people respected their elders? by Earl McRae" template
"O-train to be completed by June 20__" template

Sens Army Blog news update

Hey folks,

After a minor surgery, posts on the website have been limited recently. Mostly to No Habs No! letters, which are certainly fun (and one for Dion Phaneuf, which will completely avoid any mention of sloppiness, seconds, or anything of that nature, will be forthcoming), but are lacking in the depth readers expect.

Although not analytical, here is at least a run-down of the most recent Sens' news to keep you abreast of the issues:

• Android Volchenkov kills Thomas Vanek. Okay, 'kills' is a strong word, but Vanek's likely out for a month after Volchenkov shot him in the face. With a puck.
• Ryan Shannon contributing. He looks good... will it last? Here's to hoping.
  
• Dany Heatley disagrees with coach Cory Clouston. But then, mere hours later...
• Dany Heatley agrees with coach Cory Clouston. Fabricating stories, and then reporting on the response to said fabrication, is a great way to sell papers.
• Clouston running the Sens ragged in practice. Good?
  
• Speaking of Clouston, one thing I hadn't noticed but is certainly noticeable: New ice time allottments. Nick Foligno (20:29) played more than any of Heatley (19:43), Jason Spezza (19:40), or Daniel Alfredsson (19:27) against Buffalo. And Brendan Bell (20:30) played more than Volchenkov (18:16), Jason Smith (20:05), and Chris Phillips (19:54). Is it a good idea? Well, they won, and Foligno and Bell each had a role in the win.
• Chris Neil is out for two weeks with a lacerated calf (on his leg, not a baby cow). Questions abound as to whether we'll see him in an Ottawa uniform again, or if he'll be traded.
• Shean Donovan should be back on Wednesday, according to the above-linked story. Alex Picard won't be yet, but may be soon.
  
• Carrie Underwood will be alone on Valentine's Day. But would like Mike Fisher to make her a home-cooked vegetarian meal. Why the hell do I know this?
• And holy shit, MLS soccer in Ottawa? About Eugene Melnyk's bid, the MLS commissioner said, "It’s highly unlikely and almost inconceivable that with a stadium deal in place we would not grant an expansion team to Ottawa." I didn't think it was likely.
  

Spezza only scores two goals, costs Ottawa another game; trade imminent

Sigh... for the 25th time this season, perennial disappointment Jason Spezza has cost the Ottawa Senators a game. His lackadaisical approach and lack of any work ethic meant that Ottawa wasn't able to win the game, once again. All other players are absolved of any responsibility, because Spezza committed two giveaways on the night. In the end, the Buffalo Sabres won the game 4-2, and it had nothing to do with their play and everything to do with Spezza playing poorly.

Spezza did score two goals on the night, 32 seconds apart, and was one of only three Ottawa players on the plus-side of the +/- ledger. But both of those goals were obviously pure luck, and had nothing to do with Spezza's skill and tenacity. I would say he bites, but Jarkko Ruutu has (allegedly) taken that schtick and run with it.

Seriously, though, Spezza only has 17 goals on the year right now, which isn't nearly good enough. It's barely more than Sidney Crosby, barely more than Vincent Lecavalier, barely more than Evgeni Malkin, and barely more than Martin St. Louis. One thing seems completely obvious: Spezza is the biggest problem on the Senators roster, and he needs to be traded immediately.

Setting Spezza up to fail

Hey, I have an idea: Let's take one of our most skilled guys, put him on a line with two of our least skilled guys, and tell him that if he doesn't produce he's getting benched.

Apparently that's what Craig Hartsburg is doing with Jason Spezza. According to the Sun:

"I know you all want to know about Jason Spezza and 'When do we sit him on the bench, when do we sit him on the bench?' Well, he's playing with two guys now that are honest, hard-working guys," said Hartsburg. "To me, if I'm on that line as Jason Spezza, I want to play my heart out because of those two guys who are with me.

"If he doesn't do it there, you know what? We probably have no other choice now (other than) to say, 'Sit down.' This has got to be a group decision to work. Not 19 or 18 guys. It has to start to kick in here or else it's not going to work. It's not working the way it's going."

Does that sounds like a remotely good idea to anyone else? Doesn't sound very rational to me. In Bruce Garrioch's Cheapseats column on Saturday, he said that Spezza's "lack of production" could get him riding the pine. SPEZZA's lack of production? What about an entire team's lack of production? Spezza is not alone in this, it's an entire team that's having problems this season. So why is it Spezza who is receiving the lion's share of the blame?

The Sens' top-ten scorers, an analysis of futility:

1. Heatley: 14G, 15A, 29P
2. Alfredsson: 9G, 18A, 27P
3. Spezza: 13G, 10A, 23P
4. Kuba: 1G, 21A, 22P
5. Picard: 4G, 7A, 11P
6. Fisher: 3G, 8A, 11P
7. Foligno: 4G, 6A, 10P
8. Ruutu: 3G, 6A, 9P
9. Donovan: 4G, 3A, 7P
10. Kelly: 3G, 4A, 7P

Is it news that Antoine Vermette isn't performing? No. But his six points (3G, 3A) in 31 games is farther below relative expectations than Spezza's 23P in 31GP. Antoine Vermette's goal last night against Dallas was his first point in eleven games. Mike Fisher, making more than half as much as Spezza, has four assists (and no goals) in his last ten games. Dany Heatley, making $1M more than Spezza, has one goal and one assist in his last seven games. Spezza has two goals and no assists in those seven games.

Spezza is not scoring as we'd all like him to, granted. In my opinion, though, he's playing as hard as he ever has. The bottom line, though, is that Spezza is certainly not the only problem the Sens have right now, and he's not even the biggest one.

Bobby Clarke is getting senile

I was going to write this article lambasting Bobby Clarke about calling out Jason Spezza on TSN's Off The Record, but after reading his comments I almost feel bad for him. He's a player who had a great career playing old-style, bash-'em, broadstreet-bully style hockey, but the NHL has left Clarke behind. From the Ottawa Citizen:

Clarke acknowledged that Spezza is "a great talent," but the compliments stopped there.

"Great players are hard to play against. I don't think anybody fears playing against Jason Spezza ... other than the fact he might score or make a great play on you. You never get bruised, you never get touched."

Hey, Bobby, here's a newsflash: Getting scored on is a lot scarier these days than taking a big hit. And the league's greatest players have been those who instilled fear based on their ability to score rather than their ability to bruise you. What makes Spezza hard to play against is his ability to score goals and make plays. As much as you might prefer it, the number of hits a team throws, or bruises a team inflicts, has no literal bearing on the scoresheet. When teams play the Flyers, who do they fear more: Riley Cote or Simon Gagne? When teams play the Canadiens, are they afraid of Georges Laraque or Alex Kovalev? The league's best team is built around pure skill with some grit involved, and if bruises-inflicted was deemed a relevant statistic, the Red Wings would likely be among the league's lowest-bruising teams. But they still win games.

Does Spezza need to grow? Absolutely. He needs to find a way to tap into the consistency that takes players from great to elite. He has been back-checking, he's thrown some of his weight around, and he is getting somewhat stronger on the puck. He's definitely making better decisions recently, and that's reflected in the Sens' success.

Clarke's got no place in this league. He was moved from GM in Philadelphia after they had their worst season in team history and finished last in the league, and he's now the team's senior vice-president. I don't know exactly what that position entails, but it sounds like a sweet job they give to a guy who played his whole career as a broadstreet bully and can't be given any more responsibility than an office swivel chair. I'm sure they consult him on hockey decisions, and ask him to make media appearances, but his ideas of building a team are irrelevant in the New NHL. His adopted son and protegé Steve Downie has been suspended one game for every two he's played in the NHL (20-game suspension, 39 NHL games played), and was just traded from Philly. I'm not sure what kind of career Downie's going to have, but it's not going to last long if he routinely steps over the edge.

To his credit, Spezza didn't bite:

"I just do what the coaches are telling me, and if they're happy, that's what matters," Spezza said before the Senators flew out of Ottawa yesterday for tonight's game here against the New York Islanders. "I can't worry about the analysts."

Doesn't Cox have a bigger loser to pick on? In his home town maybe....?

Yes, Damien Cox, we get it. The Senators aren't the team that they used to be. They're not even the team that we thought we had at the beginning of last year. You must be some kind of genius.

I mean, thanks for mentioning the Senators in a Toronto paper (normally, the Leafs nation has their heads so far up their asses that they can barely see the sun, let along Eastern Ontario). But, in this case, you're merely summarizing the obvious.

To Sens fans: don't panic. We're six games into the season. Don't be Cox-y.

He does have one legitimate comment though:

"Apparently, it wasn't all Emery's fault after all."

You're welcome, Damien.

Brennan a shit-disturber, still

I was just looking back at a column Don Brennan wrote earlier this week about Filip Kuba, entitled "Kuba not exactly a big hit". Excuse me? Seven points in five games isn't big enough for you? Turns out, it was a play on words (hilarious, Don) based around the fact that Kuba has one recorded hit in his five games so far.

So... you're basing an entire article criticizing the Sens' far-and-away highest-scoring defenceman on a flawed statistic measured by often biased and subjective statisticians? Are you trying to run another player out of town, Don? I don't even get it... it's not like Kuba refused an interview like Joe Corvo (who I believe Brennan or Bruce Garrioch dubbed 'Uh-Oh' Corvo) might have last year, because you've got quotes from him on the very subject. I guess you just want to be a jackass. Here's an excerpt of the story:

"Not for a second did Senators GM Bryan Murray believe he was getting a reasonable facsimile of [Zdeno] Chara when he obtained Filip Kuba in the Andrej Meszaros trade before training camp. But they do have their similarities. They are from neighbouring countries. They are the same age. They play the same position.

"And they're both tall.

"A glaring difference is the way they play the game. One is so physical, the other is so not."

I can think of another big difference, Don, one you apparently missed: One is making $7.5M (Chara), while the other is only making $3M (Kuba). There's a pretty big difference. Oh yeah, and one is expected to lead the charge in virtually every facet of the game (Chara), while another was acquired to be a complementary piece (Kuba).

As Ben mentioned, a lot of players have a hard time dealing with slobbering fans (and slobbering bloggers) staring at them whenever they go out in public. But I think it's a lot harder to deal with reporters who generate baseless controversy out of nothing.

Brennan starts some shit

On the weekend, Don Brennan wrote an article in the Ottawa Sun lambasting an Ottawa Senators player. Nothing unusual there. What was unusual was his methodology: Fabricating an event to do it.

"The booing drowned out the cheering when Martin Gerber was announced as the second star of last night's 3-2 home opening loss to the Detroit Red Wings at Scotiabank Place."

I was at the game. As disappointing as Gerber's last-minute bobble was, I don't at all remember this happening. Maybe Brennan was sitting directly above a Red Wings booster club or something, but Gerber's 38-save performance kept Ottawa in the game for as long as they were, and he was deserving of a second- or third-star award. If anyone else who was at the game can either confirm or correct my recollection, it would be appreciated.

A lot of people are riding Gerber right now. Maybe I am an "apologist", as Black Aces has criticized some for being. Maybe I'm more patient (or more naive) than Sens Chirp. Maybe I'm not ready to throw Brian Elliott--who has been playing well in the AHL, but it's still the AHL--into the Sens' starting role, as the 6th Sens is looking forward to. Bottom line, I'm fine with another half-dozen games for Gerber. If he hasn't picked up his game by then, well, then I'll admit there are serious problems.

Excruciatingly Shitty Predictions Network: Redux

Sam Hansen of the Bleacher Report wrote a hilarious article about ESPN's Fantasy Hockey pre-season rankings. Aside from the hilarity, Hansen touches on two Ottawa Senators players which are ranked incredibly low: Martin Gerber ranked 370 overall, and Alex Auld ranked 368 overall.

I'm not going to suggest either Gerber or Auld are elite goalies in the NHL. I do think Gerber will do a lot better than people are predicting, but even if he continues playing as he has in the past two seasons, 370th OVERALL?!?! They suggest Bryan Berard, who doesn't even have a contract right now (although I'm sure he will), will be the 346th best fantasy value. And Brandon Bochenski (remember him? The pre-season wonder?) is 347th. Andrew Raycroft, backup Colorado Avalanche goaltender to Peter Budaj, is ranked 91 overall.

Whatever. I don't even care anymore. It just goes to prove what Sens Army Blog alumnus Kyle said about ESPN: Their name stands for the Excruciatingly Shitty Predictions Network. Hilariously enough, Hansen said something very similar, calling ESPN the "Exceedingly Stupid Prediction Noobs".

Fuck Lalime. Bring back Tugnutt!

Is this rock bottom for Senators reporting?

Other than absolutely conforming to "Stuff sports writers like" Rule #1, this story mixes opinion and journalism seamlessly to create a genre I call "fiction".

Sure, Lalime could come back. But let me sum up the story in a couple sentences.

Brennan: Do you like getting paid, Patrick Lalime?

Lalime: Sure.

Brennan: How about being paid... in Ottawa?!

Lalime: Why the fuck not.

Brennan: Hey Bryan Murray, if you had to rate the chances of Lalime coming back to the Sens either "likely" or "purple", what would you rate it?

Murray: Ummm... "likely"?

Brennan: Booyah.

Sorry Brennan, not buying it.

Building "character" in the dressing room

A lot is being said in the fallout of the Ray Emery buyout, and the subsequent trade of Brian McGrattan hasn't put any water on the fires of discussion about the Senators' team dynamics. The Ottawa Citizen is calling it an "image overhaul", but I don't think that's accurate. You don't solve an image by sending people away; you solve a reality be getting rid of the problem. So I would be inclined to agree with Alanah McGinley of Kukla's Korner in her analysis of "The Bryan Murray Show" as little more than a deflection tactic, using buzzwords like "accountability" and "character" to avoid discussing real problems.

While reading the Citizen's coverage of the trend today, some quotes from Murray had me wondering what it was we were dealing with before Emery and McGrattan were dumped:

"I want a team of real character people," Murray said, watching the club's younger players and recent draftees go through the second day of an arduous development camp at the Bell Sensplex. "I definitely want good people in the room to clear up that perception. Fans are influenced by what they read and hear, and we want to keep good people.

"Obviously, we're looking to make the team better and get in better shape in that area."

What is it we are dealing with, Bryan? This was obviously never simply a perception. Murray's comments have acknowledged that there have been problems in the dressing room, and that the two most recent transactions were measures meant to defuse the bomb that blew up the 2007-08 season before it could do any damage to the 2008-09 season (man, I am on a roll with the metaphors right now!).

If you ask long-time Senators fans for a common denominator that exists between the three biggest departures from the roster to date this season (McGrattan, Emery, and Wade Redden), they won't quote their abilities to fight. I've got no proof, and have no right to make accusations, but the fact remains that all three have been linked with off-ice shenanigans, at least in rumours. I'm not trying to lend credibility to the rumours, I'm simply acknowledging that they exist.

Those long-time Sens fans may also remember an "image overhaul" intended to clean up the attitude in the dressing room from years ago. This one involved André Roy, and the affects his decisions or outlook may have had on who was at the time a very promising developing Wade Redden. Despite being a fan-favourite, Roy was traded for Juha Ylonen in order to clean up the dressing room, so we were told.

It deserves to be discussed that McGrattan and Emery were two of the best friends of much-maligned (at least this summer) Jason Spezza. Although Spezza's apparent disinclination to seriously address the immaturity in his game--a hesitancy to back-check consistenly, a refusal to stop making no-look backhand passes--has not been linked to the deals, he needs to grow his game. And his old friends, evidenced by their on- and off-ice attitudes, were not promoting that maturity. Firing John Paddock and bringing in Martin Lapointe to stop the cancer proved insufficient, so Murray must have believed that the tumour was a lack of work ethic--given form in Emery and McGrattan, and perhaps others--and had to be cut out.

Time will tell whether or not these moves will work as intended. Another very interesting point raised in the above-linked story on Kukla's Corner is the media in Ottawa, and why these stories--which are apparently known by everyone--are never reported. Is it a refusal to use anonymous sources? Give me a break--it's obvious that in his rumour-reporting, Bruce Garrioch has no problem with quoting the anonymous. Is it wanting to stick to the on-ice news? Last year was evidence that off-ice problems make on-ice news. Is it an unwillingness to bite the hand that feeds you? Well, if you're afraid to report the truth out of fear for the repercussions, journalism might not be you true calling.

Headlines with question marks

Part one in an ongoing series:

Stuff sports writers like


When approaching any story, always begin with the most speculative statement of the article and make it your headline. Keeping in mind this statement is pure speculation, and does not have a source or basis in reality, you can absolve yourself of any legal liability by adding a question mark.

"Sudin to become free agent" (too direct, implies you know a fact)

"Sundin to become free agent?" (perfect! With a question mark, this statement is pitch-perfect and reflects your level of speculation).

Let's try again:

"Spezza on the market" (Awful. Can you back this up?)

"Spezza on the market?" (Nice! No need to speak to anyone now. You've done your research by adding a question mark.)

Or, try using this tip in real life in the subject lines of emails dealing with sensitive topics.

"I'm the father of your child" (No! Your best friend might go into shock and not read the rest of the email)

"I'm the father of your child?" (Great! Now you can be sure he'll read the rest of the email: "But seriously, I'm not. I'll see you at the bar at 8.")

Using this simple tip, you too can become a writer for TSN.ca, sportsnet.ca, or the Ottawa Sun. Remember, when you've got absolutely nothing to say, just make some shit up and add a question mark.

Wow. CTV is an asshole

I've purposely not commented on the CBC HNIC theme song because, as well all know, HNIC has always been a Leafs-centred franchise (at least until April).

But, I must comment. Wow, CTV, what dickhead thing to do. You stole this iconic song right out from under the nose of the network that made it famous. That's the NHL equivalent of submitting an offer sheet to Marc-Andre Fleury this summer, and getting the guy.

I believe that the CBC will be fine with a new theme in 2008-09, but CTV's actions were conniving and evil. They stole the Olympics from CBC with a better bid, and they did the same with this song. Who will be claimed next by this acquisition machine?

Mark my words... BOB COLE.

From the "missed the boat" file...

The only version of Emery you'll see in Ottawa in the future... NOW AVAILABLE!

Kind of a cop-out on the helmet, Mr. McFarlane. A limited edition version featuring the short-lived Mike Tyson helmet could have sold for literally dozens of dollars on eBay. Oh yeah, Garrioch reminds us that Emery can be bought out once the playoffs end.

The real question: With Emery gone, does the Sun still need Bruce Garrioch?

PS: Wow, Mats Sundin is a dick. Refusing to be traded,then leaving as a UFA? That's the sort of thing that could cost a certain Swede a statue in downtown Toronto.

How did this become about Emery?!

Just a quick post here to make absolutely clear that everyone talking about how Ray Emery is somehow to blame for the Sens early playoff exit is absolute insanity.

The man hasn't played a game since February, and he hasn't made a peep since then. On Tuesday, no one wanted to talk to him. On Thursday, he's TSN.ca's lead story. It makes no sense! Sure everyone is talking about the crappy end to the season, BUT WHY AREN'T THEY TALKING TO THE GOALIE THAT WAS IN NET?!

"Hey, uhhh.... Gerber... how come you didn't win more games? ...was it Ray Emery's fault?"

Sorry. The logic doesn't follow.

A short piece at the end of the CTV national news cast even profiled him as some sort of distraction. And guess who they talked to as an expert... Bruce Garrioch.

I'm not sure if my partner in blogging Peter will agree to this, but I am THIS close to putting Garrioch on notice.

Crazy ideas be a-flying!

Bob McKensie: What went wrong in Ottawa?

Now the team can't rest all the blame on the on and off-ice problems around goaltender Ray Emery, but nevertheless, it was a big problem.

...how about they can't rest ANY of the blame on him for these playoffs. You can thank Murray for that.

The idea of trading centre Jason Spezza or winger Dany Heatley is tough, simply because their trade value has lessened coming off a bad season and bad playoffs.

Anyone who dreams of trading Spezza or Heatley better wake up and apologize - there's no way we could get a good value for them. No... actually, I won't even entertain the idea. Won't happen.

Allen Panzeri - The End

The Penguins outshot them 14-5 and had so many good chances that Gerber deserved a first-star nomination just for 20 minutes of work.

Mr. Panzeri, you are mad. No 20-minute effort can get a first-star award, just like a solid 20 minutes can't win you the game. Maybe we should just hand him a Stanley Cup ring for "great effort!"

Whether he was the sole cause of the malaise - and it would be foolish to suggest he was - Emery will be the first casualty. His contract will be bought out as soon as Murray is legally allowed to do it.

Extremely presumptuous. Most members of the media have agreed that Emery should be bought out. Thankfully, they are not the general managers of this team. Like Eugene Melnyk, I trust in Bryan Murray.

When the rage dissipates, the posting can begin

I feel as though I am the father of a child that must now repeat the fourth grade.

There's nothing terribly difficult about the fourth grade. Sure, you gotta overcome some challenges, but if you put the effort in, there's nothing to stop the average child from passing the fourth grade.

The Penguins are the fourth grade. The Senators are the disappointing child.

Through two periods, everything looked good. The Sens were re-energized by the triumphant return of Daniel Alfredsson, and they played like an inspired team for two periods. Every player on the Sens bench was trying to make a statement in those periods, and in the third period... I guess they forgot the words.

(btw: I totally called an Alfredsson round-1 return a full 10 days ago. EAT IT PROFESSIONAL WRITERS!)

What angers me isn't the three goals in two minutes, but rather the fact that the Senators gave up afterward. The team from the first and second period didn't return for the final 10 minutes of the game. Instead, Sens fans had to watch as their team waved goodbye to the series.

Who is to blame? Everyone. No one. By everyone, I include Martin Gerber. Some people may not want to hear it, but this game convinced me of how incredibly average he is. He makes easy saves look hard and that's his only selling point. I don't care what Bryan Murray does with him or his contract. Average is not good enough, especially for a goaltender in Ottawa.

I feel the anger rising again, so I had better stop typing.

Will I watch game 4? I don't know. Based on the third period of Monday's game, I don't think the Senators are looking forward to seeing it either.

Game 1 aftermath

I'm trolling the internet for some perspective on last night's game.

Good news:

• Some say Martin Gerber's not playing too poorly. His remarkable glove save in the third period was Highlight-of-the-night-worthy.
• Anton Volchenkov is probable for game 2. The shot he took to the face only caused a cut. When I was watching the game, I heard a fellow game-watcher say "orbital bone". I cringed.
• Jim Hughson doing play-by-play for a Sens game?! I must have died and gone to heaven! Or Bob Cole must have died and gone to hell.
  

Bad news:

• The Sens hardly ever win game 2. You'll hear all about that on Friday.
• The CBC still (and forvever) has a man-crush on Gary Roberts. Despite being thrown out of the game in the third period, he was able to be tracked down for a post-game interview.
• Cody Bass was born and raised to kick ass. I love the fact he's not afraid to take on anyone. He nearly jumped through a referee to get at Roberts.
• Brian Lee had 17 minutes of ice-time. Pretty darn good for a rookie. He even hit people. Still not body-checking people: Wade Redden - 18 minutes of ice-time - $6.5 million.

I really wish the next game was on TSN. Damn Canadian socialistic public broadcasting policies!

Plenty of motivation for Senators

Going into the first round against the Pittsburgh Penguins, the Ottawa Senators have no shortage of motivation. From no respect in the media to no respect from the opponents, the list goes on.

First off, no one in the media is giving the Senators a speck of respect, and many are predicting a cakewalk for the Penguins. Maybe the Sens have made this bed; the way this team has been playing they don't really deserve much credit. But they way we all know they can play, and the way they have played at times this season, and the penchant for players like Jason Spezza, Dany Heatley, Cory Stillman, Chris Phillips, Chris Neil, Dean McAmmond, Mike Commodore, Christoph Schubert, and Antoine Vermette to step up their game when the going gets tough is enough to at least give the Sens a shot at making some waves in the series.

As if that wasn't bad enough, there's the possibility that Pittsburgh chose their opponent. Although fans of the Penguins are vehemently denying this, the scratching of Sidney Crosby if the regular season's final game, and the lacklustre performance by the rest of the squad in that 2-0 loss to Philadelphia, all with the Eastern Conference regular-season title on the line, smells a little funny to me. The mentality, as pundits and Sens coach Bryan Murray has suggested, is that the Pens preferred Ottawa's style to the punishing play of the Flyers, so they made it happen. If that's true, there could be some unpleasant surprises in store for the Pens.

On an individual basis, plenty of players have a lot to prove, and it starts in the net. Martin Gerber has been knocked for his unreliable play for the last six weeks, and especially for his unproven playoff record. If he steps his game up a notch and steals a game or two, he makes a great case for himself; if not, he might have a hard time finding a job for next season (as the Sens might simply buy him out).

After that, Wade Redden has had a forgettable two seasons, and he's playing for a contract for next season. If he really wants to stay in Ottawa, he's really going to have to pick up his play and lead by example--and make his breakout passes count without turning over the puck.

Staying on the blue line, Commodore has been tagged since Murray picked him up as a playoff warrior, and most people have looked past his struggles in the regular season by looking forward to the playoffs. If he fails to step it up when it counts, it won't look good on him or the general manager.

Moving up to the forward ranks, both Heatley and Spezza can go a long way in earning the long contracts they've both been signed to. The team's slide was suspiciously timed shortly after those two were signed to their multi-million dollar, long-term deals, and both of those players need to show that it wasn't a mistake.

Randy Robitaille and Chris Neil have had terrible seasons. Robitaille hasn't been the producer he was expected to be, and he's getting one last chance to play on the top line; if he does nothing in the first 20 minutes of the game tonight, count on him being bumped down to the fourth unit in favour of a physical presence beside Heatley and Spezza. Neil hasn't been the pest presence he's suited to be, except for the annoyance Sens fans feel when he takes penalties instead of drawing them. Not to mention his offensive fall-off, Neil really needs to prove himself this playoff run.

Although Robitaille is probably playing for a job next season, Vermette is playing for a big pay increase. If he can finally prove once and for all that he has the ability to step into a second-line centre role and continues to play like he did in the final two games of the regular season, he's due for a doubling or perhaps tripling of the salary he's making right now.

However you cut it, the possibility is there, and the Sens have plenty to prove. All they have to do is make it happen.