- The CBC
- Bob Cole
- Harry Neale
- Elliot Friedman (example)
- Americans
- NHL sponsors
- Sidney Crosby's sponsors:
- Gatorade
- Reebok
- Pepsi
- Tim Horton's
- FritoLay
- Nova-Scotians (especially their politicians)
- People who picked the Penguins to win in 6 games:
- Sports writers from Toronto
- Idiots
- Actual Penguins
- Children with diseases, who undoubtedly would have been cured had the Penguins won the Stanley Cup
- Colby Armstrong - Chris Neil never got the opportunity to mercifully end his life
- Gary Roberts, won't be able to win a Stanley Cup to validate his past 15 NHL seasons
- Ottawa Senators bloggers, who won't be able to see their families for another 2 weeks
(Except the last one, we screw ourselves... yeah, I said it.)